The Blessing and the Battle

As I move through my 4th pregnancy, I am reflecting on my journey through motherhood over the last 11 years and how far the Lord has brought me. I have such a peace, joy and excitement in this season that can only be identified as fruit of the Holy Spirit and I am so grateful for how the Lord uses increase to develop us. I am a vast contrast to who I was during my first pregnancy.

I began to feel anxious during my first pregnancy. The thought of becoming a mother, of caring for another life, made me deeply aware of how much I couldn’t control. The unknowns started to press in on me, and I even experienced a full blown anxiety attack.

I was operating in my own strength. 

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” — Proverbs 31:25 (NLT)

I didn’t realize it at the time, but the fear and anxiety I experienced in early motherhood came because I was about to receive a blessing.

When the Lord blesses us, the enemy doesn’t sit back, he attacks. He comes to steal our joy, kill our peace, and destroy our confidence in what God has given us. And one of the greatest blessings we’ll ever receive as Proverbs 31 women is our children.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” — John 10:10 (ESV)

The enemy wanted to use fear to steal that from me.

During my first pregnancy, I started feeling anxious. My mind spun with all the things I couldn’t control. And because I wasn’t regularly rooted in God’s Word, I tried to handle it all in my own strength. That’s when the anxiety intensified because I was never meant to carry it all alone.

But praise God, His Word revealed the truth to me.

Through Scripture, I began to understand that He ordered my steps. He chose me on purpose, to be their mother. He equipped me with everything I would need to raise, teach, and steward them in the way they should go.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)

As I started showing up daily in His Word, and relinquishing control back to Him, my anxiety began to subside. The fear lost its grip. God’s peace came in like a river, and I remembered: He is ultimately in control and He is good.

This was the beginning of walking in my identity as a Proverbs 31 woman, not in my own strength, but in His.

If you feel like you are operating in your own strength and need help building the habits of getting into God’s word everyday, send me an email heatherlapier@gmail.com and I can provide you with some strategies that supported me in building my relationship with God.